After all this time I all can see are dark, grey clouds continuing to cover my beautiful, clear sky that I always bathe under without a second thought. As times got more uncertain, I had little choice, but to give up my adoring sky for storms waging a war against the very self I would always try to seal away. A self that could cover my skies for a while before giving in to my rays of light thoughts, pretending as if I never learned any meaning in pain. As if, I never knew there was such thing as a shadow that just wants to grip you till you fight back so hard that it can no longer land a single scar upon your colorful memories. Though from time to time, I’d be reminded of that intimidating shadow that would linger on a tiny portion of my sky until it engulfs me in darkness. Letting me remember all of the times, I’ve felt pain like no other, fear that I never knew I could experience, and a loneliness that would blind me into never letting me let down my guard. Rains would escape my eyes once more, and a voice crying for nothing but attention, sneaking someone for comfort. Anyone. Just someone…so I can just see a bit on my clear skies once more. For now, I’ll just close my eyes and let it let loose all my emotions, in ways that would give me or the other pain. In ways, that help others, but makes the shadow storms around more getting stronger, and more defined as I wonder, who am I? Or just let myself succumb to it, and let loose the little raindrops just because of a needle pricking my finger.
Once more I shall fight the shadow, but let a bit of it live in and eventually let it grow again. Forcing me back into the shadows, and letting it feed on me until I charge it again with strength that changes my skies to a peaceful heaven once more. An endless war that will be continued to be waged in me. Maybe one day, I will win the war, but now is not the time, but this time…I feel like I was truly suffering. Not when the first storms raged against my weak grounds due to my inferior strength, but the strongest storm I’ve ever felt. Just for now, I’ll let it feel a little longer till I have the strength a to fight back.
Rereading this…this sounds more epic than my normal lifestyle. Oh well.
Bye bye
Till another war or a bearer of good news comes once more again. Farewell.
